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My girl is on the cusp of toddlerhood. Finding time to iterate and update is a challenge, but I've adopted the mentality that I don't need to sit down for 2 hours to have a productive session. I'm doing things in pieces. 20 minutes here, half a bullet point there. I keep reminding myself that the most difficult part has passed, but I still feel like I'm in the thick of it. 

I've found more joy in working on the app when I don't feel pressured to do everything in one go, especially when my daughter has a 6th sense for when I am about to sit down and do something. But! That's ok too. 

The nights have been difficult. She still wakes up periodically, and it makes me grumpy in the mornings. And sometimes at night. "Enjoy this" wears off when I feel my eyes burning. It's mostly the anxiety that makes me feel that way, anxiety for how tired I am and how it will persist... but the days usually lighten up after I've had some caffeine and time. Baby time is 13 hours a day, 1 hour of that is a nap, and on like... fragments of sleep. 6 hours if I am really lucky, but that usually means we get up at 5 am. I'm combating the grumpiness now with another mental mant-- 

Ohpppp. She's movin'. I got like 2 more minutes. I'll wrap this up.  

287 more days of her being a "baby". That's it. That's all I get, and this precious time of her life is no longer. 

I had these aspirations to be a working mom, and a wave of woe comes over me when I imagine myself living out that "self sufficient" version of myself... but she's still there. She's still real. And I think if I were working right now, that wave of woe would be more like a tsunami for the landmarks of her development that I would be missing right now. 

Inch by inch. 

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